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Whatever Happened to Robot Jones? (pilot)/Transcript
(At the Jones' house, Robot is waking up) * Robot: 'All systems are go. * ''(title card) * ('Robot walks out of the elevator and up to Dad Unit, a megaphone comes out from his mout): '''Good morning, Dad Unit! * '''Dad Unit: '''Good morning! (x3) * )'Robot walks up to Mom Unit): 'Good morning, Mom Unit! * '''Mom Unit: '''Good morning, little robot! * '''Robot: '''I am ready for my daily informational programming.... Need input. * '''Mom Unit: '''Today, you will get your programming for the public mid-level learning facility. ''(Robot gets confused) ''It is time for you to begin your task you were designed for: to collect, store, and interpret data on Junior High humans. * '''Robot: '''But Mom Unit, humans are so inefficent. * '''Mom Unit: '''You are correct. Humans are inefficent, but their inefficency should not interfere with your data collection. Your excuse does not compute. * '''Robot: '''I will not comply with that request. * '''Mom Unit: '''But Robot....(alarm sounds)'' Warning: the school bus has arrived. Time to depart, son. * '''Robot: '''Negative. I am not going to go to Junior High School. * ''(Dad Unit drags Robot outside) ''Dad Unit:' Go to school! (x5) * '''Mom Unit: '''Have fun with the humans. * '''Dad Unit: '''Goodbye. ''(door closed) * Robot: 'Greetings, school bus. I am ready to begin my human studies. Repeat: I am ready to be--- * '''Bus Driver: '''Hey kid! * '''Robot: '''I am receiving you clearly. Please instruct. * '''Bus Driver: '''Hey kid, up here! Yeah, you wanna try getting in the bus instead of talking to it? * '''Robot: '''A slight miscalculation. * ''(transitions) * '''Mr. McMcMc: '''Now, does anyone here know the answer to problem number 16? ''(Robot beeps) ''Anyone besides the new student? ''(facepalms) ''Well, Mr. Robot Jones, do you know the answer to number 16? * '''Robot: '''The correct answer is 48. * '''Mr. McMcMc: '''Huh. Thank you, Robot. Now, the next problem is a tricky one, class, so we will--- * '''Robot: '''76. * '''Mr. McMcMc: Excuse me? * Robot: 'The answer is 76. Your mathematical problems are too easy for my superior computer brain. Don't you have anything more difficult? * '''Mitch: '''Dude. * '''Socks: '''Man, he really burned the teacher. * ''(the students laughed) * 'Mr. McMcMc: '''Robot, to the front of the class! * '''Kids: '''Ooooooooooooooh! * '''Mr. McMcMc: '''So, you wanna be a class clown, huh? Well, we have a place for clowns at this school! It's called the principal's office! NOW GO! * '''Robot: '''Oops. I think I overloaded the teacher. * '''Principal Madman: '''Well, well, well. Mr. Jones, the amazing robot in my office, yet again. Let me be honest with you, I don't get this whole technology thing. Gears, circuits, micro-chips, rubbish. So, listen up, future boy, cause you're on thin ice. Just one more slip-up, and you're staying after school, in detention. ''(Laughs) * (Transitions. The students are eating and having fun. Principal Madman confiscates some technology) * 'Principal Madman: '''Electric nonsense. Nope, none of that electronic garbage in my school. No Sir Ree Bob. ''(Principal Madman trips over Robot's charging cable, and causes a mess) ''Nooooooooooooooo! * '''Kids: '''Ohhhhhhhhhhh! * ''(Principal Madman gets angry) * ''(Robot is fully charged)'' Lenny Yogman: Hey, look everybody! That robot kid eats lunch with his butt! (kids laughed) * 'Principal Madman: '''ROBOT JONES! Well, you've messed with the wrong human this time, buddy. I'm giving you 3 months of detention. You'll be staying after school with me, will teach you a little respect! ''(Robot overloads) What-what-what-what-what's he doing? * ''(kids screaming and running) ''Kid #1: He's gonna blow! * '''Principal Madman: '''Oh, good heavens! What am I...uhh...forget about it, Robot, no detention! Head for the hills! Mad robot! * '''Robot: '''One day with humans, and I totally fried my circuits. I don't know you can handle it everyday. ''(pulls plug) ''I can't take it anymore! Humans are illogical, inefficent, and they talk really weird! Based with these conclusions, I never want to see another human again, as long as I function. * '''Shannon: '''Excuse me. ''(Robot scans) ''Mind if I get a soda? * '''Robot: Fascinating. Such high metal content for a human. Quite an efficent design. * Shannon: 'Hey, are you okay? ''(Robot glitches) ''Oh well. Take it easy. * ''(transitions) * '''Robot: '''Data Log Entry. I have just completed my first day of studying Junior High humans. I have found humans to be short-tempered, irritable, and just generally unstable. But the female of the species is quite a strange phenomenon. Final analysis: I compute. These humans need more study. A lot more study. More study. More study. More study. '''THE ENDCategory:Transcripts